I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
