You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just crazy horny about you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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