all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize