Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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