i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
