Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
