ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Damn victory sex feels great
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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