we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
