These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We got so high we made milksteak
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
