Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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