Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
