I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
