So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
