I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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