"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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