doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She told me I should be a condom model.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
