I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm really busy with my period
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