Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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