"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
