he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize