i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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