i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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