it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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