He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
