Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
