You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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