So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
