It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
