her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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