I have demons in me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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