he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize