I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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