You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
