Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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