Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
