If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
