I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I will be naked everywhere
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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