we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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