Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
