the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
