For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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