Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
