how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
