Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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