other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
