Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
