I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize