Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
