were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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