im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
