she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My life is pants optional.
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