I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
