Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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