My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You don't make any sense
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