Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
