So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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