Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
