omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
