that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
