I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need water and some morals
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
