They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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