Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
