You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
