She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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