covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
