she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Green mimosas i think yes
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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