There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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