you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
